8 Key Lessons I Learned In 2022 That I’m Leaning Into In 2023
The holiday season has come and gone, and I hope it was good to you all. I’ve spent the last three weeks straddling deep reflection and relentless pursuit. I thought about how different my life looks now, versus the beginning of 2022. I’m a completely different person. It’s been a long journey that has significantly opened my mind, healed my soul. This transformation has brought me so much peace. Since I can’t really recommend the lifestyle I chose last year, I figured I’d compile a list of the most important things I learned in 2022. I want to share these things because they’re what helped me unlock more of my potential, and I hope that a few of these topics may provide a little guide for you.
My big takeaways from 2022;
Experience
Nothing will change your perspective quite like experience. Go and do something you really want to do. Achieve something that you’ve always wanted to achieve. These experiences makes you stronger, wiser, and more worldly. It opens you up to different people, cultures and provides an intense feeling that’s now apart of your story. If there’s one thing I want to take from 2022 that I would easily tell and encourage every single person to do is just to simply go for it. Take the trip. Start the Youtube channel. Take the job. Imagine your life’s story as a culmination of your experiences. You can live a life full of yeses and new experiences, or there’s a life of excuses and radical comfortability. I know which life I want to look back upon when it’s all said and done. Which brings me to my next point…
Excuses
You know what I find true in almost everyone I talk to about making goals of self-improvement? People hold their excuses tighter than their will to get better. Read that again. When I talk to people about diet and how to tighten it up, I’d say 95% of people tell me they eat clean, don’t eat that much and they go to the gym. Yet, they’re actively talking to me about how they need to lose weight. The excuse is a subconscious mental block so you don’t have to admit you’re not living a healthy life. Last year I went through a process of not allowing myself to make excuses. I really leaned into accountability and taking responsibility for my actions. When you are honest and you don’t make excuses for yourself, you fix problems. It’s scary to know that you’re the one who’s sabotaging your progress in life, but the sad reality is that, it is your fault. The quicker you can unpack this, the quicker you can get back on track to living the life you want to live.
Expectations
Meet people where they are. Set realistic expectations. Being let down is a really hard emotion to deal with. So why let it happen when you’re completely in control of the way you perceive and expect things to happen? What I’ve learned in 2022 is that life is so much easier when you set realistic expectations for yourself and others around you. If you’re used to someone treating you a certain way, don’t be surprised when they refuse to stop, even after you confront them. This is a good way to handle your interactions with others, but also, constantly look to re-calibrate your expectations for yourself. Progression is the key. Put something in front of yourself that you can reach and grab. Then set the next super manageable goal and grab it and so on. Setting realistic expectations keeps us in the game, it makes us continue the pursuit. Setting manageable expectations promotes progress and stops you from quitting before you reach the big goal down the road.
Understanding the Ego
I rememeber when I was first told that the voie inside my head wasn’t actually myself. I thought that was the stupidest thing I had ever heard. That voice was my logical brain making calculated decisions. Fast forward to 2022 and I’ve learned that the voice is actually my ego. That little voice that wants to keep me in a place of comfort, that wants to protect me from disappointment or from challenging myself, was just my ego trying to protect itself. When I write about re-framing the way you speak to yourself, I’m mainly talking about how to overcome your ego. Become aware of your ego and stop talking down to yourself. The universe put you here specifically to be your highest and most authentic self. Be that. It’s incredible how liberating this has been for me. Understanding your ego, and choosing to not take it’s BS any longer is really empowering.
Ceremony Consciousness
Ceremony consciousness was one of the biggest takeaways form my Fit for Service retreat last year. It’s centered around embracing the process of the things that you take part in. Some things are clear cut ceremonies, like saying grace before dinner. You say grace to become present and thankful for your meal as you embrace this ceremony. Other things are smaller and I’ve actively been in touch with those ceremonies. For example, every morning I make pour-over coffee. I take 5 minutes to appreciate the smell, and soak up the ceremony of making a coffee. It’s this change in perspective that has made a large difference in the small things in my life. I stopped drinking alcohol in July, but I started drinking non-alcoholic beers in September. What I realized, was that it was the ceremony of drinking a beer that I missed when I stopped drinking. It wasn’t the buzz or the mind altering effects of alcohol. It was jut the enjoyment of having a beer. Being aware of the ceremony in the things we do, is a great way to remain present and to give the little tasks in life their appreciation.
Power of Daily Habits
You are a result of what you consistently do, not what you say you’ll do. If you aren’t where you want to be in life, you need to change your habits, and change the way you think. My daily habits have changed significantly and therefore my life changed significantly. It wasn’t the other way around. Taking daily action, being consistent, and showing up for myself and my family is the number one reason I’ve grown so much in the last year. It’s a culmination of all the small things. This is where people are missing the mark. The things that change you aren’t huge breakthrough acts, moments, or accomplishments. It’s all of the small tasks, the minutia of your life that defines who you are. If you' can’t control the small things, the big things become insurmountable. Start very small, gain momentum, and let the system of your daily habits change your life.
Heart Chakra
The world is a completely different place when you stop leading with your brain and start leading with your heart. When your heart is the filter for everything you encounter in your life, your experience is going to be so much different. When you open your heart, one of the first realizations is that your happiness isn’t a byproduct of external factors. If you think you’ll be much happier when you move into that house or when you get a new car, or when you make more money, you’re not understanding this point. One could say that the future or the past are also external forces that you lean on to make you happy, or excuse the reason you aren’t as happy as you want to be in the current moment. Your own self-love is an embodiment and a knowing that you’re perfect just the way you are in whatever situation you’re in. You’re in that situation to learn a lesson if nothing else. So, no matter what happens, no matter what anybody says, no matter your circumstances, you have to love yourself no matter what. When you love yourself to this level, you’re almost impervious to external negativity. It took a powerful breath work ceremony for me to figure this out, but it changed my life forever. Love and acceptance creates an unbreakable passion for life that gives you the will to never give up.
Divine Archetypes
Learning the basics of divine archetypes was huge for me even though it’s a concept that is a little “out there.” It’s a way of looking at unconscious energies of masculine and feminine needs/behaviors/expressions. I credit learning these archetypes with my newfound understanding of my own masculinity. What I’d tell most guys these days, is if you want to become whole in your masculinity, try first understanding the feminine and how it’s manifesting in you. Regardless of your gender, you have aspects of the feminine and masculine in you. These archetypes are not gender specific and don’t even relate to gender. If you’re a man, think of the way you show affection to your son, daughter or wife. That affectionate behavior, that caring touch or the kind loving words you share with them, that is a feminine archetypical energy. However, that’s not an effeminate act at all. Understanding how to balance the masculine and feminine in myself shifted the balance in my families dynamic subconsciously. When I talk to men, I normally bring up this topic because I think most men are unaware of this balance, and if left misunderstood, it can really wreak havoc on your relationships.
So, there you have it. These are my top 8 lessons from 2022 that have had the most significant impact on me over the last year. They are topics I know I’m going to lean in to and probably write a ton more about as we progress through 2023.
Now that we’re almost through January, what progress have you made already in 2023? Are your resolutions going well? Are you noticing the results from the new habits you’ve created for yourself? What blockages are you trying to clear this year? If there’s anything at all that you’re going through and would like to discuss, I’d like to give you permission to drop me a DM so we can do this together. Or, if there’s any questions you may have about the topics I’ve discussed, you can also send me a DM and ask anything you’d like.
As always, thanks for reading 🙏❤️🙏
