Journaling And Ego Death. How I Re-Programmed The Negative Voice In My Mind.

 Our minds are being shaped to function like a TikTok or Instagram feed. We cycle through 30 second thoughts throughout the day and never take the time to focus. We’re constantly distracted and rarely (if ever) take time to sit down and deal with the things that are going on in our heads. In this article I’m going to lay out the different ways journaling has helped me mentally, how it has enhanced my productivity, boosted my creativity and how it’s given me a new perspective. You’ve ignored your mental health for long enough, time to grab a journal and get started.

Mentally

Journaling was the catalyst in guiding me through my first ego death. I’ve suffered from negative self-speak for a long time. On numerous occasions I’ve talked myself out of trying things, I’ve believed I couldn’t do something, or convinced myself I wasn’t ready for something because I didn’t know enough. For example, I wish this was the first venture I’ve tried getting off the ground in terms of a blog/podcast. I’ve had multiple ideas that never came to fruition because I’d talk to myself so negatively that I’d quit.

How sad is that? Would I ever talk to my friends like that if they wanted to start making music, or a podcast, or take up any other creative outlet? No! Never! I’d tell them to go for it, shoot for the stars, I’d champion their efforts and tell them to pursue their dreams. Yet, I wouldn’t even do that for myself. Journaling creates that new inner monologue. It gave me a new voice once I recognized that I was standing in my own way and letting myself down. I truly believe that if I wasn’t journaling, I wouldn’t have this blog up and running right now. My track record proves that I would’ve quit. Recognizing that my own negative self speak could be re-framed into a new and more supportive and optimistic tone has helped me in every facet of my life.

Being Proactive and Productive

I was really proactive in terms of writing out the toxic ways I was speaking to myself internally. Initially, this was focused on the thought processes that were holding me back and that I was the only one responsible for my shortcomings. Any time I’d have a self-defeating attitude or negative self speak, I would catalog it and write out the antithesis of those thoughts. Over time, it became clear that my shortcomings were defense mechanisms to justify my overall toxic behavior. I made excuses as to why I couldn’t lose weight even though I was going to the gym routinely. I had once said that “this was my body type, I’ll just maintain this weight as long as I work out.” I wrote these beliefs out and called myself on my own BS. I was true to myself. If I wanted to drop a little weight, maybe I shouldn’t make excuses and not drink a case of beer over the weekend. I held myself accountable and stayed on track. When you keep writing these things out consistently, the positive affirmations become your new internal narrative and your old excuse making ways slowly die from your subconscious.

Being more productive and proactive with yourself, your tasks and facing the things that give you stress is a crucial life hack. Imagine, facing any facet of your life that gives you stress and just attacking it with action. No more excusing yourself from making positive strides in your life. Write out a plan, routinely check in on the plan, and don’t let your stress or anxiety get in the way of the other areas in your life. Don’t over think it, don’t avoid it, just go get after it, and make the changes you’ve been wanting to make in your life. Journaling provides this path and makes you realize you can proactively change anything you want in your life when you have enough focus and dedication to change.

Being creative 

I like to listen to podcasts and I like to read. I got so obsessed with how journaling and being mindful was making me feel I started journaling on topics that weren’t related to my internal growth or my experience at all. I began to journal as I was consuming content. After every chapter of a book I’d write a journal entry. While listening to a podcast, I’d stop it every time I’d hear something that resonated with me and I would take a note and come back to it later and journal further. This style of writing really gets me excited. You feel more actively engaged with the content you’re consuming. You’re not simply going through the motions of listening to a podcast in the background. Or mindlessly checking out and using it as a distraction. It’s extremely fulfilling to feel mentally engaged in what I consume.

With this in mind and how journaling can spark creativity, I wish I had a journal when I went on my last trip to the Pacific North West. Imagine how cool it would be to have a log of your stories from all the vacations you’ve been on. How they felt in the present moments while making memories. Creating a catalog of thoughts, feelings and emotions as you go through life seems like the most valuable thing we could be doing with our time, or at least it feels like that for me, hence this blog.

Perspective

As you continue journaling, you create this massive catalog of thoughts, emotions and processes all in one place. It’s like this secret handbook to your soul. You can look back and see where you were, how specific themes persisted, and what you followed up on. I recently went back and read things I wrote that I wanted to accomplish as I was putting things together for this website. It was a really good exercise for me to physically see that I had actually followed through and did every single one of the things I wanted to do.

Journaling makes you look at yourself and the way you’re living your life from an outside perspective. I started to recognize that any fear that kept popping up wasn’t relevant. I would find that most anxieties I had were also just thoughts of lack that plagued my mind. Journaling made me recognize that those thoughts don’t have any merit. I was conditioned to have those feelings of lack and insecurity. But, in the same way I was conditioned to think those negative thoughts, I could re-condition myself to have a deep belief and love for myself. I just kept writing that I could achieve anything I wanted if I just kept going. My inner voice now sounds more along the lines of how I would support a friend or a loved one with the same goal and that change was huge!  

In the end, all you can do is handle life as it comes at you. That’s what we’re all doing here. Life is finite, so, why don’t you take time to focus on your core values, figure out what’s standing in your way from inner peace, and clear up some mental real estate. I hope you take the plunge and I hope journaling has a similarly profound impact on you as well. If you do take the time to start journaling reach out and let me know! I’m positive you won’t regret it.

Thanks for reading ❤️🙏❤️

- Jay Melvin