You Only Have One Life. Choose Your Regrets Wisely.
Regret is an inevitable emotion. We will undoubtedly feel this at any time in our lives. Regret comes with one main stipulation; it only materializes in reflection. Once we experience regret, we must learn from it to grow. But just as we can look back upon regret, we can foreshadow and predict regrets to be felt in the future. Thus, giving us a choice, in which regrets we will have at the end of our days.
Early on in my process of healing, I sat down and went through an exercise of foreshadowing my regrets. Things I regretted currently and things that would eat me alive if I didn’t change going forward. Here are a few potential regrets I foreshadowed for myself and how I chose to alter the narrative of my future.
If I never pursued my dream and chased my passion project, how would that manifest in my children?
If I taught them to be bold, brave, and follow their dreams, yet I never took my advice, how do I think they would internalize that? Would they be proud of the man I was? Would they view me as a man of no passion? No confidence? They would think I just took the easy way out and stayed home with them. They would appreciate our time, I’m sure. But I would regret the example I was setting for them in not chasing their dreams. Regret number one was not being a man that made my kids feel supported and secure in themselves. I chose the regret of trying and failing over inaction. I want my kids to push and try and follow their passions in life. I have to embody and set that mindset in them now.
I’d never know my true potential.
Negative self-speak is so powerful. I’d consistently ask myself, who is going to read my blog? How can I make money and turn this into a viable business? It takes a lot of time to write and edit this material for nobody to pay attention to it. What if I succumbed to the fear of thinking I couldn’t be successful with this venture? If I was overwhelmed by the fear of not knowing how it would work, I’d never know what I was capable of achieving. I’d never know if I was capable of helping anyone if I didn’t take the leap of faith. So I just asked myself, "what if it doesn’t work, would I regret it?" If I could impact one person, I wouldn’t regret it. After seven blog posts, I’ve already received messages where friends have told me they’re back in the gym. In a week, one person has already lost over 5 pounds and they’re learning to love themselves simply by reading my words. So, do I regret this decision of spending late nights editing? Do I regret being vulnerable and putting myself out there for people to judge me? Not even a little. I’m no longer overwhelmed by the fear of failure. I've already raised the bar to the next goal. Overcoming the second regret of not knowing my true potential was to just do the thing. The fear of judgment or fear of failure was not going to be prioritized over my pursuit.
What if I remained distracted?
What regrets would I have if I stayed blissfully unaware of the impact I was having on everyone around me? What would my legacy be? How would they write my obituary? Jason was fun to be around. He was a loving dad who enjoyed a cold beer and sports. My choice of regret here is to remain comfortable in my routine or change my life. It's currently 2:20 in the morning. Will I regret staying up and writing this? No, I'll know I accomplished something. Truthfully, I won’t regret it at all. I’m proud of the work I’m doing. When you’re dedicated and consistent, you don’t have regrets. I work late because I put my family first all day. I carve out time at night for pursuing creativity through writing because it sets my soul on fire.
How would inaction manifest in the way I felt about myself?
This was the regret that I had to stare down in the mirror the hardest. I have a burning desire to create, write, and inspire. But I was consistently paralyzed by fear, imposter syndrome, over-analyzation, and procrastination. 2022 has been the most fulfilling year of my life. The introspective work has proven to be the most important work I've ever done. What would I regret instead of taking action and starting this? Starting this blog has cost me a little money, but not enough to make me feel regret if it doesn't yield a profit. I asked myself, "what does failure look like in this venture?" In my opinion, the only failure was not following my heart. At the bare minimum, these blog posts will be a looking glass for my kids to read when they’re older. By choosing to avoid the regret of inaction, I chose to be vulnerable, to be ridiculed, mocked, or laughed at for my views or my writing in general. There are probably people who see this and think that I’m ridiculous or foolish. I don’t regret giving people the access to have this reaction to my posts. This message isn't for everyone and that’s ok. The alternate feeling I have from taking action is one of no regret. One of self-confidence and self-belief. I’m fulfilled, proud and inspired for myself and my continued growth.
In the end, I saw my life unfolding and all of the potential instances I’d be able to look back and feel very regretful. I envisioned what my life would look like if I didn’t change my behavior. So, I got healthy, followed my heart, and took action. My intention is to shed light on your situation and remind you that you have a choice. The goal isn’t to make you feel bad or to incite a negative emotion. It's to identify your potential regrets as fuel to live a life that is true to yourself. You owe it to yourself. You deserve the opportunity to give yourself a shot. And I truly believe in you. If you identify what you might regret, I’d love to hear from you. DM me and I’ll encourage you in every way that I can and support your efforts.
Thanks for reading 🙏❤️🙏
-Jay
